Expats in China I was browsing the forums of a community for Shanghai expats and happened to come across a top10 list of "You know you've been in China too long when..." I thought some were pretty damn hillarious and some are sad but true. Here are some of the best ones I read... 10. Ice cubes in beer actually makes it more cool and refreshing 9. Your definition of going home "early" or not staying out too late is around midnight 8. You have a pet bird... which you walk 7. When you take a cab, you give play-by-play driving directions to the driver 6. You feel cheated if you don't receive a full head and shoulder massage when getting a haircut 5. You eat three regular meals a day: lunch, dinner and night snacks 4. You return to your home country, you start ?1/4?11/4?(tao jia huan jia) for everything 3. When you go to the toilet you start bringing your own toilet paper 2. You can pick up any type of food using just your chopsticks... even peanuts. 1. David Wu is one of your favorite celebrities! ---- 01). The footprints on the toilet seat are your own. 02). You no longer wait in line, but go immediately to the head of the queue. 03). You stop at the top or bottom of an escalator to plan your day. 04). It becomes exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anyone can get off. 05). It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting. 06). You rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply "Up To You". 07). You no longer wonder how someone who earns US$ 400.00 per month can drive a Mercedes. 0. You accept the fact that you have to queue to get a number for the next queue. 09). You accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the car is "Broken" and that it will cost you a lot of money to get it "Fixed". 10). You find that it saves time to stand and retrieve your hand luggage while the plane is on final approach. 11). You can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on your trousers, or you have your suits made with terrycloth pockets. 12). A T-Bone steak with rice sounds just fine. 13). You believe everything you read in the local newspaper. 14). You regard traffic signals, stop signs, and copy watch peddlers with equal disdain. 15). You have developed an uncontrollable urge to follow people carrying small flags. 16). When listening to the pilot prove he cannot speak English, you no longer wonder if he can understand the air traffic controller. 17). You regard it as part of the adventure when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different. 1. You have more knick-knacks than your grandmother. 19). You are not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb. 20). You understand all the above listed references.